Be charitable toward hyperactive children
Source: Scripps Howard
Publication date: Oct 23, 03:36 PM

      I am always surprised by how many lives I touch voicing my opinions about hyperactivity. There are two responses: Thank you and I hate you. It warms my heart to receive loving responses.

Hyperactivity is often associated with attention deficit and impulsivity. It's called ADHD or attention deficit/ hyperactive disorder. I prefer "high energy" because it positively addresses the child, describing his attributes rather than making a critical judgment.

     As a high-energy adult who scores 100 percent on the hyperactive, attention deficit and impulsivity parts of the DSM IV test, and as the mother of four high-energy children, I understand hyperactivity from the inside of the head and heart. I understand how hyperactive people live, how they think and respond, and why. I know the battlefields and the loneliness of the high-energy mind. That's why I write about it.

     My favorite stupidity about hyperactivity is that it's a mental disorder.

    Think about it. If hyperactivity seems like a mental disorder from the perspective of ordinary people, then it is fair to say from a hyperactive perspective that ordinary people often seem brainless and idle.

     One eye-winker among hyperactive people is "Are you keeping down with the common man?" Because most people run on slow mode, hyper people wait for the world to catch up. It's one reason hyper kids don't stand in line well, don't take turns well and don't watch passively very well at all. Watching the world move in slow motion is tedious at best.

     Put yourself in the world of the high-energy child for a moment. See "The Lord of the Rings." The movie begins in slow motion. Voices drag, the action takes forever, the story is boringly predictable.

     Not what you expected?

     How do hyperactive children learn to enter a slow-mode world? They enter because they want to, but it's not easy. Inclusiveness is key. The hyper child stands outside. He has to feel loved and accepted for who he is and not for what he might someday be depending on the drug of choice.

     These are the square-peg children constantly beaten into round holes.They don't fit. They will never fit. They were not made by their creator to fit. When we tell them they don't, won't, can't fit, and their place is just as valuable, they begin to understand that it's OK not to fit.

     Making the world come alive for high-energy people takes a vision of the world that understands how we integrate thought and mechanics. Ordinarily, it takes another hyper person to do this.

     Most hyper children are bright and grasp concepts easily. Understanding that they bore easily with the simplicity of ordinary classroom pap helps. Knowing they thrive on complicated disciplines such as metaphysics and quantum mechanics helps turn the key.

     If I could choose one buzzword in rearing a hyperactive child, it would be charity. Most hyperactive children are filled with charity unless they have been abused. Abuse begins with pointing a finger at a child and calling him mental. It's separating and defeating. Telling a child he has a disorder to overcome is like putting him on a glue board.

     Charity is a demonstrated virtue. It begins in every action and every word.

     Because hyperactive children are the minority, they must learn to defer to others. It's just part of the game. Once a child learns to be charitable to those who move slower and at times understand on a different and simpler plane, the world begins to work for him. He can see his purpose and his strengths through charity.

     (Judy Lyden operates a pre-school in Evansville, Ind. Write to her c/o The Evansville Courier, P.O. Box 268, Evansville, IN 47702, or e-mail her at jlyden(at)evansville.net.)

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